My current sheikh,Abu Qassin Bilkhairy of Erdeyf ,Tunisia makes an important distinction between the shuyukh of “barakat”(good vibes) and the shuyukh of “tarbiya”(training)It is the first time I had heard of this classification and it makes a lot of sense.However ,it is not as cut and dried as it would seem at first blush.

When one goes to the sheikh of barakat, it is a pleasant experience or  or even an elevated one-  of ‘hal’ and everyone is happy.But the question remains:”Are we  really advancing?” Is this really “Sufism” or is this mere spiritual entertainment?Often enough the answer is the latter.This is probably the reason our sheikh talks about the “shuyukh of barakat”.

Now even if the teacher sets out to do “tarbiya”(training,raising up as we do with children) is that really what is happening? Note: we are a long way from the tales of Abu-Hassan Ash-Shadhili and Ibn Mashish or Jellalludin Rumi and Shems Tabriz. They seemed to be almost alone as students with the full attention of the Master upon them.Now we have turuq with hundreds if not thousands,even tens of thousands of murids! How can the same instruction occur?!

As soon as we “scale up” the operation(to use a modern M.B.A. term lol), we run into problems.We then need a managerial structure.There needs to be muqaddams(local representatives) who take the place of the teacher and these muqaddams  need to be competent and humane and sensitive-which often they are not! And the Sheikh needs to monitor them.That is one of the places where we find the most problems ! The notion of “accountability” has not yet arrived in the Sufi world lol! Some of the muqaddams are slackers,others are tyrants and others are simply out of their depth.They are usually chosen because they have been around the longest or because they are the most earnest in their practice.Neither of those are satisfactory criteria for such a role.So the management structure is seriously defective to begin with.And often,the supervision is spotty at best.Bring in the consultants! lol. Not going to happen in Sufi groups!

I have noticed these problems for a long time.However recently I have been Graced with two students of my own who seem sincere in their desire to learn about Sufism and advance spiritually.That has given me an “in vivo” experience from the other side of the “sheikh/murid” equation.And it has put me in touch with a whole other set of problems.This “tarbiya” stuff is no easy matter! I believe it was Freud who once said:”I believe I have discovered in psychoanalysis  a third human activity that is both necessary and doomed to failure-the other two being raising children and governing nations”. So we can well ask whether guiding people in the Sufi way, or any spiritual way for that matter, is not a fourth such activity?!

One of the first questions that arises is how soft or how tough to be:-loving or setting limits,comforting or provoking.We have  examples of most of these attitudes from Sufi history! When Ibn Ataillah came to see his grandsheikh, Abu-Hassan, the second time complaining about ‘waswas'(obsessional doubts around the question of wudu),he was told.”Stop that behaviour or don’t come back to our Zowwsiyya”! Talk about tough love! Then there is the iconic story of Shems Tabriz throwing all of Rumi’s books into the well and saying”Do you want these books or do you want Real knowledge”? No small deal for a life-time scholar.Not to mention the Sufis of malamatiya(the way of blame) who would curse at their new students and send them packing until they had proved their mettle.

Nowadays, however,we have the opposite-sheikhs who coddle their students,who enable them in their slackness,who never call them out on their bad behaviour and their spiritual faults.Yes,I have seen a lot of it over the years.The results are never good! The people around often justify it by saying that the sheikh is too loving or too compassionate to scold his students.I don’t buy it!

So how do we arrive at a balance?And can we or is it just “aspirational” to use another modernistic term.I believe it is conceivable and  possible even if I haven’t seen it yet.But it requires a lot of effort and discernment and observation.And the idealization of the sheikh as well as the infantilization of the murids is a definite obstacle.In all honesty,medical school,with all its dunniyawi limitations,did a much better job of this than the turuq.If you didn’t do your work or weren’t prepared for your presentations,you were called out on it.If you did a good job,you were told so .And if a teacher was out of line by being too tough OR too soft,they were often enough replaced by others- in the good schools at least..In all fairness,it is a lot easier to teach medicine than Sufism but I think the comparison is useful nevertheless.

One of the most important questions in the teacher/murid relationship is that of dependency.The Sufi metaphorically falls at the feet of his sheikh as the Hindu chela does literally at the feet of his guru.Fine and well,but what after that? Does he just sit their suckling at the sheikhs breast so to speak.When is he weaned and how? When does the sheikh say:”Now you have to do some work on your own”.Or even “Now is the time to leave” as Ibn Mashish said to Abu-Hassan when he sent him to Tunisia.Many murids will stick around the sheikh’s presence until they are forced to leave by an action similar to the cat that chases off one of its kittens who is lingering too long at the nipple or as the mother bird chases the chick out of the nest.But it musn’t be too early or the fledgling will die!

Another important aspect of this “tarbiya” work is the complex world in which we now live.It is no longer sufficient to say the Sufi needs outer knowledge(Islamic sciences) and inner knowledge to be complete.Now he needs multi-dimensional knowledge! He needs to know about psychology and Comparative Religion and the toxicity of our surroundings as taught by Environmental Medicine.I cannot see how a Sheikh can properly guide people in their lives if they do not have at least a minimum exposure to these new forms of knowledge.This,alone, is a considerable challenge to the modern spiritual teacher.

Now,inevitably when one is guiding people,one comes up against unique ,multivariant, specific challenges.This is not unique to spiritual teachers.It comes up in medicine,in psychiatry and even in building problems(a whole other dossier there).So how can we manage this kind of complexity.All the general rules of behaviour and jurisprudence fall by the wayside when confronted by the complexity and specificity of each new situation.And this is where the Istikhara prayer and dream interpretation comes in.Of course,Allah is Aware of all of this.And often enough,He is the only One with the right answer! So we need to consult with Him. And the best means I have found is the Itikhara prayer and the  interpretation of dream symbols t.hat follows(I am in the midst of gathering materials for a book on this very subject so stay posted!).

Ok.That’s a start on a fascinating but difficult and subtle subject-How to Raise a “Mensch”,a true “Insan” who is true to his deepest nature(fitra).More to come inshallah.Salaams,Ibrahim