There is currently an epidemic of deafness in human interactions going on. After observing this,I have been trying to understand why that is .This article is more about the “how’ than the “why”. Have a listen! lol
I could not have admitted this a while ago,when I was studying psychiatry,but I have learnt many deep and useful things from the psychoanalysts.One of the things they realized early on was that it was not enough to say the truth about the psychodynamics at play or about anything else for that matter.Firstly,you have to interpret the defenses i.e. you have to identify the barriers in the way of listening.
Now, ironically,there is something parallel in the Islamic tradition-yes the very same religious mentality that Freud liked to denigrate lol! It says”laillaha illaha”.(There is no God but the one true God).So you have to start by denying the falsehood-the various forms of idolatry.Then and only then,can you affirm the Truth -Allah.Ajib! Psychoanalysts and pious believers using the same approach.! What could be more reassuring lol,?
So what are these barriers to listening? I will list a few of the more obvious ones to begin with:
1-Denouncing the Source: so ,if you don’t like what someone says,you respond” He’s just ignorant” or “he’s a right-winger” or “he’s just too politically correct” or “he’s just a chauvinist, macho or a homophobe or an Islamophobe or a feminist”or any one of numerous categories that would discredit the individual from being a truth-sayer.The problem is that each and every one of those categories speaks the Truth at times.I could even add psychotics and borderlines and psychopaths to the list and not forget Mr. Trump-the Narcissists lol.So categorizing people does not necessarily help you identify the Truth or falseness of what they are saying! Be careful!
2-The Bureaucratic Reflex: (Purolator story).When we think about bureaucracies,we are usually thinking about government institutions.However,many of the large”private” enterprises (think banks and any large companies including social media ones) Here is one recent example,I can share with you.I order my meat from the only reliable halal,organic supplier I know-Blossompure in Toronto.They have taken to shipping it via a delivery service in Canada known as Purolator-supposedly a private company(When I looked into its ownership- out of total frustration- I realized it was owned mostly by Post Canada! And I thought we were living in a competitive capitalist society! Think again Ibrahim!)
Anyway,here is how the story unfolded.Purolator claims they do next day delivery to Montreal.More often than not,however,that takes two days.Not a problem as the meat is so well-packed that after two days it is still mostly frozen.However,this time when they arrived at my appartment block the driver realized that the appartment number was missing.Instead of leaving it in the hallway(possible solution #1) his instructions were to bring it back to the warehouse.Note that we are now Friday and Purolator is closed on Saturday and Sunday! I get an email notice that the shipment was diverted because of the incomplete address.So I call the tracking line but they know nothing about it except that it was diverted.So I call the local Purolator warehouse and mange to connect with an agent.”Can you call the truck driver and complete the address”(Possible solution #2).”Sorry sir ,we can’t reach them.””Can you text him and ask him to call me?”(Possible solution #3)””Sorry sir our system doesn’t permit that” .”The can I meet him at the warehouse(possible solution#4).”Sorry sir,he arrives after we close” Can you tell him I will meet him when he arrives(Possible solution #5).That’s not possible sir”. “Is there any chance you would have a small freezer in your(huge) warehouse?”(possible solution #6 No,sir,we don’t have that sort of equipment.” N.B. You can probably think of other possible solutions but the system doesn’t permit of any of them!
Sure enough I receive a call on Monday morning to come pick up the meat.It has now been five days in transit and the entire box of meat is spoiled! Such is the insanity of bureaucracy.In this case,the result was spoiled meat. In many cases,it is lethal!
3-“It’s not significant” So even if it is true,it doesn’t matter.We recently had an unfortunate incident of that on a bridge near my home.A negligent repair crew sectioned the “rebar” on one of the supporting columns of the bridge.The mistake was reported to the Minisry of Transport who decided it was no big deal.So they continued sectioning the rebar on other columns!.By the time that had been done on 10 other columns ,they needed to shut down the bridge-indefinitely -a vital artery in the West of the city. “Human error” said the Ministry.”Ya,right” Deafness on high.That is significant human error but by no means isolated to Quebec bridges.I just watched a news report on American television about the management of the Covid epidemic.Human error as well! ! May well have cost hundreds of thousands of lives.Deafness is a very costly disease!
4- Doesn’t coincide with one’s ideological schema. The preceding story of mismanagement of the Covid pandemic fits in nicely here.The ideology in question is “Double-blind,placebo-controlled,peer-reviewed,published in prestigious medical journal” ideology.They now call that “Science”.Oops,got that one wrong-500,000 lives later! Of course this doesn’t only apply to medicine.In Vietnam,we were fighting Communism,in Iraq they were fighting terrorism ! And what about Chile and Nicaragua and Iran (putting in the Shah). Oops,got a few of those wrong also- because of ideology,no?
5-Following your desires; most people can get there heads around this one lol.You continue smoking despite the evidence.eating too much sugar and refined carbohydrates for diabetics.Women looking for bad boys and men seeking out b–ches. Lol.That one is usually easy to spot.Especially if it is happening to others!
6- The habit reflex; The Islamic holy texts are full of this one! Our Prophet saws preaches to his people and they respond;” But this is not what our ancestors have done.How can we change that?!’and Allah responds “but they were in error and ignorant”(paraphrasing).”No matter” say the Quraysh.They are our point of reference.Of course,this is not just the Quraysh.All societies have elements of conditioned ignorance.When Dr. Ed Hallowell was asked how teachers and educators dealt with the ADHD population in the good olde days he responded”They had a standard approach-blame shame and humiliation”. That’s just what they do! Why would we change that?’ It worked so well,right?! So the ADHDers became drug addicts and criminals and low-lifers.Just the way it is,I guess!To extend the model into the field of nutrition,let’s take the French and Italian insistence on devitalized refined white bread and pasta.The way of their ancestors!But nowadays almost guaranteed Diabetes 2.! Worth changing habits? You bet!
7-:The Contrarians; You say white,they say black.You say up,they say down.Ever met one of those lol?They are all around us.Sometimes,it is specific to certain relationships-like toddlers and adolescents and their parents.But sometimes it is generalized to all people.And at other times ,it has a competitive aspect.The non-listening other just wants to prove that he/she is smarter or better-informed than you are.Besides being contrarian and competitive,this reaction implies a certain arrogance.”My idea is better than yours-by defintion lol”
These are some of the types of deafness.And they are legion.How to get to hearing?! That is a matter for another time.If you are impatient,you can start by reading any of the short articles on Epistemology on this blog.I am hoping to coalesce them all together soon.Stay tuned!